Jo was terrified of spiders. What made it worse for her - though she could have no way of knowing this - was that spiders were not afraid of her.
Not in the least.
When Blake texted, the world around him disappeared.
This was why he neither saw nor heard the speeding car which would destroy him.
Probably just as well.
"This is my stop," I told the chubby, balding cabbie. I paid my fare (plus a five buck tip), got out of the cab, and walked up to the front door of my building.
The cab drove off.
All of the other shepherds admired Bo Peep's new woolen sweater.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
February 4th
It was twenty-nine years ago today that Karen Carpenter passed away. Last night I honored her memory by listening to some of my favorite Carpenters songs. I figure that it was the least I could do. I did not cry, as I had last year.
I still miss her, however. I miss her voice, of course, but that, fortunately, lives on in her recordings. I also miss her smile, her loveliness, and her passion for what she did.
What would she be doing today? I like to believe that she would have finally branched out on her own. Produced a few more solo albums, possibly in the jazz genre. Won a Grammy or two. Finally got a chance to sing and act on stage, as she always wanted. She had grown up as her own person, had that taken away from her, and was slowly gaining her individuality back at the time of her passing.
Karen was a beautiful, fun, and happy person.
The world is a worse place without her.
I still miss her, however. I miss her voice, of course, but that, fortunately, lives on in her recordings. I also miss her smile, her loveliness, and her passion for what she did.
What would she be doing today? I like to believe that she would have finally branched out on her own. Produced a few more solo albums, possibly in the jazz genre. Won a Grammy or two. Finally got a chance to sing and act on stage, as she always wanted. She had grown up as her own person, had that taken away from her, and was slowly gaining her individuality back at the time of her passing.
Karen was a beautiful, fun, and happy person.
The world is a worse place without her.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Rainy Days And Mondays
Karen Carpenter's Finest Performances
This is a difficult choice to make, as Karen rarely gave a poor, or even average, performance in her life. (I can think of five off the top. There are likely a few more. But considering that she recorded over 120 songs, that's a pretty good average.)
But, great as she was, there are times when she was GREATER than that.
In no particular order:
1) "Little Altar Boy:" All of Karen's Christmas recordings are golden, but this is the standout. This recording puts all of her skills on display: the emotions, the intelligent reading, her incredible range. That last note!
2) "Bacharach/David Medley:" This is the medley which turned me into a karenfan. May be Carpenters finest recording as well. "Make It Easy On Yourself" shows off the richness and beauty of Karen's "basement" voice. Listening to this for the first time made me run to You Tube to see who the drummer was. Lo and behold. It was Karen! I was in love!
3) "Hurting Each Other:" Many 70s artists recorded this Ruby and the Romantics song. Karen does it best, reaching way down into the depths of her soul to get at the heart of the matter.
4) "Solitare:" Also much recorded, none better than Ms. Carpenter. This is, in my opinion, the finest recording by a female in the history of pop/rock music. This performance literally makes me stop in my tracks in awe. It should be compulsory for every serious student of voice to listen to this performance.
5) "Leave Yesterday Behind:" Mediocre, sugary lyrics and not a much better arrangement either, but Karen, as she so often did, rises above her material.
6) "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina:" Woefully overblown arrangement. Richard Carpenter tries his best to drown out his sister, and he nearly succeeds. But Karen ultimately wins. Quite possibly the gold standard performance of this song.
7) "Eve"
8) "Nowhere Man"
9) "Someday"
These three recordings from Karen's very early years are pretty much forgotten today, except by serious Carpenters fans or musical historians. But all three are breath taking. She gives "Nowhere Man" a wholly different reading from John Lennon, and in her version we hear the loneliness and desperation in the voice of the song's narrator.
"Eve" is stunning. A story of a lonely girl trapped in a bad place. A hospital? A terrible family environment? The song is not clear on that, but I can't help but think of her own family situation. Like the song's protagonist, Karen Carpenter, too, was a "rose among the thorns" of the Carpenter family.
Karen had a cold when she recorded "Someday." She never liked her performance and had always planned on re-recording it. The arrangement is somewhat over the top, and the lyrics are nothing special, but Karen certainly is.
These three songs show Karen's intelligence and depth of feeling. She was approximately 17 when she recorded "Nowhere Man." She was 19 on the other two. Think about that for a moment. Has there ever been another teenage singer with the majestic maturity of a Karen Carpenter?
10) "Look To Your Dreams:" Yet another shlocky, "elevator music" arrangement from Richard Carpenter. Are we detecting a pattern yet? Karen is handed another sow's ear, yet she somehow manages to make a silk purse out of it. (It should be noted that Karen was given next to no say as to her material. Richard made virtually all of the decisions. More on this in a future post.) Her reading of this song never fails to move me to tears. It's inspiring and beautiful. And we are treated yet again to this woman's phenomenal range. She hits the high notes, nails the low notes, and sails through all of the other notes in between.
These, then, are my Top Ten. There are, of course, so many more moments of greatness. "Superstar," recorded in ONE take. "Rainy Days And Mondays." "One Love." Love Me For What I Am." "Road Ode." My list will surely differ from other lists. But it doesn't matter. It's all great. It's all the stuff of legend.
This is a difficult choice to make, as Karen rarely gave a poor, or even average, performance in her life. (I can think of five off the top. There are likely a few more. But considering that she recorded over 120 songs, that's a pretty good average.)
But, great as she was, there are times when she was GREATER than that.
In no particular order:
1) "Little Altar Boy:" All of Karen's Christmas recordings are golden, but this is the standout. This recording puts all of her skills on display: the emotions, the intelligent reading, her incredible range. That last note!
2) "Bacharach/David Medley:" This is the medley which turned me into a karenfan. May be Carpenters finest recording as well. "Make It Easy On Yourself" shows off the richness and beauty of Karen's "basement" voice. Listening to this for the first time made me run to You Tube to see who the drummer was. Lo and behold. It was Karen! I was in love!
3) "Hurting Each Other:" Many 70s artists recorded this Ruby and the Romantics song. Karen does it best, reaching way down into the depths of her soul to get at the heart of the matter.
4) "Solitare:" Also much recorded, none better than Ms. Carpenter. This is, in my opinion, the finest recording by a female in the history of pop/rock music. This performance literally makes me stop in my tracks in awe. It should be compulsory for every serious student of voice to listen to this performance.
5) "Leave Yesterday Behind:" Mediocre, sugary lyrics and not a much better arrangement either, but Karen, as she so often did, rises above her material.
6) "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina:" Woefully overblown arrangement. Richard Carpenter tries his best to drown out his sister, and he nearly succeeds. But Karen ultimately wins. Quite possibly the gold standard performance of this song.
7) "Eve"
8) "Nowhere Man"
9) "Someday"
These three recordings from Karen's very early years are pretty much forgotten today, except by serious Carpenters fans or musical historians. But all three are breath taking. She gives "Nowhere Man" a wholly different reading from John Lennon, and in her version we hear the loneliness and desperation in the voice of the song's narrator.
"Eve" is stunning. A story of a lonely girl trapped in a bad place. A hospital? A terrible family environment? The song is not clear on that, but I can't help but think of her own family situation. Like the song's protagonist, Karen Carpenter, too, was a "rose among the thorns" of the Carpenter family.
Karen had a cold when she recorded "Someday." She never liked her performance and had always planned on re-recording it. The arrangement is somewhat over the top, and the lyrics are nothing special, but Karen certainly is.
These three songs show Karen's intelligence and depth of feeling. She was approximately 17 when she recorded "Nowhere Man." She was 19 on the other two. Think about that for a moment. Has there ever been another teenage singer with the majestic maturity of a Karen Carpenter?
10) "Look To Your Dreams:" Yet another shlocky, "elevator music" arrangement from Richard Carpenter. Are we detecting a pattern yet? Karen is handed another sow's ear, yet she somehow manages to make a silk purse out of it. (It should be noted that Karen was given next to no say as to her material. Richard made virtually all of the decisions. More on this in a future post.) Her reading of this song never fails to move me to tears. It's inspiring and beautiful. And we are treated yet again to this woman's phenomenal range. She hits the high notes, nails the low notes, and sails through all of the other notes in between.
These, then, are my Top Ten. There are, of course, so many more moments of greatness. "Superstar," recorded in ONE take. "Rainy Days And Mondays." "One Love." Love Me For What I Am." "Road Ode." My list will surely differ from other lists. But it doesn't matter. It's all great. It's all the stuff of legend.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Personal Reflections On 2011
2011 was not my best year. It would be hard to top 2009. It also wasn't my worst year; 2003-04 were both equally painful. But the year just past was, in many ways, my most significant year. It was filled with equal parts sorrow and joy. Epic highs. Cataclysmic lows. Turmoil and beauty.
Not a single minute was boring.
After living in the same house for over ten years, I was forced to move not once, but three times over the course of four months. I do not like moving. Dislike the feeling of rootlessness it left me in. It was due mostly to my mistakes that I had to move in the first place. I lost my beloved cat Soot, whom I will forever miss.
I'm often forced to ride the bus or rely on a ride home. I hate having to rely on others to get me somewhere.
But on the flip side, I believe that I've learned some important lessons. Be a pro-active roommate. Communicate. Chip in. I now live in a nice little house with a good friend. There is more freedom here than I had before; I'm allowed to keep my cutlery, plates, and towels in the same place as his are. No longer do I have to keep everything in my room because there is "no room" for my collection of things. I'm sharing a home, not just staying someplace. And I am no longer paying $200.00 to $300.00 a month in bills. Oh, and there's a washer/dryer.
It still feels odd at times. I'm very much a creature of habit, and this is new. But I understand that change can be good, and I believe that this was and is a good thing. I'm happier. More relaxed. No longer looking over my shoulder, afraid that any decision which I make (not, truthfully, that I made that many) will be laughed at or labelled "weird." I look forward to going home now. I WANT to go home, rather than stay out all day or night in an effort to avoid those I'm living with.
Oh, and there's a washer/dryer. I think that I may have mentioned that.
My alcoholism, which has been steadily growing over the years, was at an all time high in 2011. There was rarely a day which went by when I wasn't drinking. A lot. Booze led me to commit a few shameful acts, acts which will stay in my heart and between me and the other parties involved.
I often felt helpless against the powers of the bottle this past year. But I think that I'm okay. I'm still drinking heavily, but feeling better about it. I'm not ready yet to quit or cut back. When I am I will.
Creatively speaking, my year was a marvel. I acted in three plays back to back to back: a very good production of "Hamlet," a Victoria Fringe Festival play which was critically well received and relevant ( a first for me in The Fringe), and a cute Christmas production which not only paid money but gave me my first puppeteering experience.
I became a stand up comedian, doing my first set in January and carrying on throughout the year. I won The Showdown (a talent competition) in April. My sets have been well received and I even have a video on You Tube. I've discovered that I love the rush of stand up. It was long a fear of mine, and I conquered it in 2011.
Alas, it appears that, at least for now, I have left my beloved improv behind. I've lost a part of my passion for it. Let's hope it returns this year.
Also in 2011, I acted in a murder mystery, an improvised soap opera (which is on-going), and started this blog. All good things.
I was hideously broke much of the year. Not good. But I rediscovered my empathy. Good.
As most of my friends know, I am writing short stories based on the life and music of the wonderful Karen Carpenter. This project took on a life of its own in 2011. I wrote like a demon, more than I ever had before. Almost each night for six months, dating back to the end of 2010, I wrote. By the end, I had filled nine notebooks worth, 126 stories in all. I've never been so passionate about writing. It's made me want to write more, instilled in me a new found discipline. The goal for 2012? Finish editing, get some readers and outside opinions, and look towards publishing.
More good things: I have continued to post a daily anagram on Facebook, and they are better and sharper than before. I participated in - and won - Victoria's first Haiku Slam.
More bad things: I hurt some people in 2011, alienated some others. Made mistakes. Occasionally got lazy at work.
There were some crazy nights. These, too, will remain between myself and the people involved.
There was beauty in the insanity.
In 2010 I discovered that I have a soul. That things can touch me. In 2011 I learned more about the depth of my feelings.
In 2011 I discovered that underneath the alcoholism, arrogance, and aloofness, I'm all right.
Here's to 2012. I can't wait.
Not a single minute was boring.
After living in the same house for over ten years, I was forced to move not once, but three times over the course of four months. I do not like moving. Dislike the feeling of rootlessness it left me in. It was due mostly to my mistakes that I had to move in the first place. I lost my beloved cat Soot, whom I will forever miss.
I'm often forced to ride the bus or rely on a ride home. I hate having to rely on others to get me somewhere.
But on the flip side, I believe that I've learned some important lessons. Be a pro-active roommate. Communicate. Chip in. I now live in a nice little house with a good friend. There is more freedom here than I had before; I'm allowed to keep my cutlery, plates, and towels in the same place as his are. No longer do I have to keep everything in my room because there is "no room" for my collection of things. I'm sharing a home, not just staying someplace. And I am no longer paying $200.00 to $300.00 a month in bills. Oh, and there's a washer/dryer.
It still feels odd at times. I'm very much a creature of habit, and this is new. But I understand that change can be good, and I believe that this was and is a good thing. I'm happier. More relaxed. No longer looking over my shoulder, afraid that any decision which I make (not, truthfully, that I made that many) will be laughed at or labelled "weird." I look forward to going home now. I WANT to go home, rather than stay out all day or night in an effort to avoid those I'm living with.
Oh, and there's a washer/dryer. I think that I may have mentioned that.
My alcoholism, which has been steadily growing over the years, was at an all time high in 2011. There was rarely a day which went by when I wasn't drinking. A lot. Booze led me to commit a few shameful acts, acts which will stay in my heart and between me and the other parties involved.
I often felt helpless against the powers of the bottle this past year. But I think that I'm okay. I'm still drinking heavily, but feeling better about it. I'm not ready yet to quit or cut back. When I am I will.
Creatively speaking, my year was a marvel. I acted in three plays back to back to back: a very good production of "Hamlet," a Victoria Fringe Festival play which was critically well received and relevant ( a first for me in The Fringe), and a cute Christmas production which not only paid money but gave me my first puppeteering experience.
I became a stand up comedian, doing my first set in January and carrying on throughout the year. I won The Showdown (a talent competition) in April. My sets have been well received and I even have a video on You Tube. I've discovered that I love the rush of stand up. It was long a fear of mine, and I conquered it in 2011.
Alas, it appears that, at least for now, I have left my beloved improv behind. I've lost a part of my passion for it. Let's hope it returns this year.
Also in 2011, I acted in a murder mystery, an improvised soap opera (which is on-going), and started this blog. All good things.
I was hideously broke much of the year. Not good. But I rediscovered my empathy. Good.
As most of my friends know, I am writing short stories based on the life and music of the wonderful Karen Carpenter. This project took on a life of its own in 2011. I wrote like a demon, more than I ever had before. Almost each night for six months, dating back to the end of 2010, I wrote. By the end, I had filled nine notebooks worth, 126 stories in all. I've never been so passionate about writing. It's made me want to write more, instilled in me a new found discipline. The goal for 2012? Finish editing, get some readers and outside opinions, and look towards publishing.
More good things: I have continued to post a daily anagram on Facebook, and they are better and sharper than before. I participated in - and won - Victoria's first Haiku Slam.
More bad things: I hurt some people in 2011, alienated some others. Made mistakes. Occasionally got lazy at work.
There were some crazy nights. These, too, will remain between myself and the people involved.
There was beauty in the insanity.
In 2010 I discovered that I have a soul. That things can touch me. In 2011 I learned more about the depth of my feelings.
In 2011 I discovered that underneath the alcoholism, arrogance, and aloofness, I'm all right.
Here's to 2012. I can't wait.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
On Dreams
I had a doozy of a dream last night. It starred Brittany Murphy, one of my all time favorite actors. She was hosting Saturday Night Live. Here's where things got weird. SNL was in Victoria. Outside. On Yates St. There were kites and remote-controlled PAPER airplanes. And Brittany was actually Sarah Jessica Parker. Even though she was Brittany.
Got that?
It wasn't the strangest dream I've ever had. That honor goes to the night that I dreamed that Ed Asner and I were fighting The Blob in the parking lot of the old Bay store. We were using toy laser guns and leading a whole gang of "Blob fighters." We won.
I've dreamed about improv. Years ago, royally pissed off at what I perceived as a lack of respect for the art from performers and audience members alike, I dreamed that I machine-gunned down everybody in the theatre, actors and audience.
Twice I dreamed this.
I've had many dreams about losing my teeth. Apparently, this is a subconscious sign that one's dreams or plans will crumble. And yes, my teeth did crumble in the dreams. More accurately, they fell out of my mouth like little Chiclets. Or Tic Tacs. I have long worried about losing my teeth, They're not in great shape. I have gum disease, bad fillings, and a lot of cavities. (Ooh! Sexy!)
Sometimes I dream that my teeth are falling out one by one. Or are about to. But something in my subconscious tells me to wake up before the disaster hits, and usually I do.
Sometimes in these "dental dreams" I am very aware that I'm dreaming. I screamed at myself to wake up the last time this particular dream occurred.
Even knowing that I'm experiencing a dream, it's still a relief to wake up and discover that, for one more day at least, I still have all of my teeth.
There are, indeed, few better feelings for me than waking up and realizing that it was all "just a dream."
I once dreamed that my Grade Ten Science teacher (whom I liked) was a child molester. I couldn't look at him in the same way after that.
As a child, my greatest fear was that I would become separated from my mother. Lost forever. Not abducted. That never occurred to me. Just lost, and unable to be found. A recurring dream of my childhood was getting lost in The Bay (yes, it was always The Bay. My mother and I went there a lot.) I would run up - or down - the escalator in a panic. Frantic. Eventually I would fall down the escalator. It was always a slow motion, tumbling fall. Soundless. Soaring through the air. Always waking up before I hit the bottom.
I once jerked awake in the middle of the night, hands clutched tightly around my throat, gasping for breath. Strangling myself in my sleep. At least, that's what I've always believed that I was doing. But I have no memory of what I was dreaming.
Having no memories of my dreams is rare for me. I usually remember at least fragments.
I kept a dream journal for an entire year a few years ago. My plan was to write a play or perhaps several short stories based on my dreams. Never happened. It still remains a plan.
I dream in color.
Another favorite aspect of my dreams is knowing where I am, even though the dream location bears no resemblance to the real life location. The University of Victoria has been a 7 - 11, for example. Nobody in the dreams ever questions the location's change. It's what it is. In the dream world, everything is accepted.
Kind of like improv. Or, at least, what improv SHOULD be.
I'm an actor. Actors have dreams about being late, bombing on stage, being in the wrong play on the wrong night, and many more. Enough to fill a book. (Hey!) I have dreamed most of these, too. Most often it's being late, knowing that I'm late, and just not able to get there. Over the past few years, the "dream me" can't get to the venue because I can't walk. My knees and legs are weighted down and I can only crawl painfully.
My knees do hurt in real life. I may be developing arthritis. Maybe my acting dream is really a "scared of getting old dream?"
I have dreamed that I'm performing drunk, or have forgot my lines. But in these dreams my actions are deliberate. I WANT to get drunk. I WANT to forget my lines.
Rarely do I have sexual dreams. And when I do, they never involve anybody, real or imagined, whom I am actually attracted to.
I cannot remember ever having a dream where I'm naked and nobody else is. Apparently these nude dreams are fairly common. I'm still waiting.
Several years ago, I had a recurring dream in which my mouth was filled with black bile. It would spew out of me like endless lava. I would grab the stuff and break it off, but more would follow. Very scary. I had this dream at least once a month, sometimes more. It was during a relatively bad period in my life, a time when I was feeling alone, remorseful, and guilt-ridden. I've always believed that the "bile dream" was my soul trying to cleanse itself. It's been at least three years now since I've experienced this dream. A good sign?
I don't drive. Have never had my license. Yet in most dreams involving a vehicle, I'm the driver. Occasionally I've "borrowed" a friend's car and gone driving. That's the dream. Me. Driving.
Real life sometimes creeps into my dreams, especially where money is concerned. I usually have the exact amount of money on me in a dream as I do in reality.
I finish dreams, sometimes after I wake up. I've also started dreaming in serial. Episodic dreams have occasionally reran in my head, with some of the same characters. I doubt that this is unheard of, but it sure is awesome.
Since I became an avid reader of detective stories, I sometimes dream the book which I am currently reading. Or I write a new chapter in my sleep.
This is also awesome.
Every now and then, the first thought I have when waking up was the last thought I had before drifting off.
Got that?
It wasn't the strangest dream I've ever had. That honor goes to the night that I dreamed that Ed Asner and I were fighting The Blob in the parking lot of the old Bay store. We were using toy laser guns and leading a whole gang of "Blob fighters." We won.
I've dreamed about improv. Years ago, royally pissed off at what I perceived as a lack of respect for the art from performers and audience members alike, I dreamed that I machine-gunned down everybody in the theatre, actors and audience.
Twice I dreamed this.
I've had many dreams about losing my teeth. Apparently, this is a subconscious sign that one's dreams or plans will crumble. And yes, my teeth did crumble in the dreams. More accurately, they fell out of my mouth like little Chiclets. Or Tic Tacs. I have long worried about losing my teeth, They're not in great shape. I have gum disease, bad fillings, and a lot of cavities. (Ooh! Sexy!)
Sometimes I dream that my teeth are falling out one by one. Or are about to. But something in my subconscious tells me to wake up before the disaster hits, and usually I do.
Sometimes in these "dental dreams" I am very aware that I'm dreaming. I screamed at myself to wake up the last time this particular dream occurred.
Even knowing that I'm experiencing a dream, it's still a relief to wake up and discover that, for one more day at least, I still have all of my teeth.
There are, indeed, few better feelings for me than waking up and realizing that it was all "just a dream."
I once dreamed that my Grade Ten Science teacher (whom I liked) was a child molester. I couldn't look at him in the same way after that.
As a child, my greatest fear was that I would become separated from my mother. Lost forever. Not abducted. That never occurred to me. Just lost, and unable to be found. A recurring dream of my childhood was getting lost in The Bay (yes, it was always The Bay. My mother and I went there a lot.) I would run up - or down - the escalator in a panic. Frantic. Eventually I would fall down the escalator. It was always a slow motion, tumbling fall. Soundless. Soaring through the air. Always waking up before I hit the bottom.
I once jerked awake in the middle of the night, hands clutched tightly around my throat, gasping for breath. Strangling myself in my sleep. At least, that's what I've always believed that I was doing. But I have no memory of what I was dreaming.
Having no memories of my dreams is rare for me. I usually remember at least fragments.
I kept a dream journal for an entire year a few years ago. My plan was to write a play or perhaps several short stories based on my dreams. Never happened. It still remains a plan.
I dream in color.
Another favorite aspect of my dreams is knowing where I am, even though the dream location bears no resemblance to the real life location. The University of Victoria has been a 7 - 11, for example. Nobody in the dreams ever questions the location's change. It's what it is. In the dream world, everything is accepted.
Kind of like improv. Or, at least, what improv SHOULD be.
I'm an actor. Actors have dreams about being late, bombing on stage, being in the wrong play on the wrong night, and many more. Enough to fill a book. (Hey!) I have dreamed most of these, too. Most often it's being late, knowing that I'm late, and just not able to get there. Over the past few years, the "dream me" can't get to the venue because I can't walk. My knees and legs are weighted down and I can only crawl painfully.
My knees do hurt in real life. I may be developing arthritis. Maybe my acting dream is really a "scared of getting old dream?"
I have dreamed that I'm performing drunk, or have forgot my lines. But in these dreams my actions are deliberate. I WANT to get drunk. I WANT to forget my lines.
Rarely do I have sexual dreams. And when I do, they never involve anybody, real or imagined, whom I am actually attracted to.
I cannot remember ever having a dream where I'm naked and nobody else is. Apparently these nude dreams are fairly common. I'm still waiting.
Several years ago, I had a recurring dream in which my mouth was filled with black bile. It would spew out of me like endless lava. I would grab the stuff and break it off, but more would follow. Very scary. I had this dream at least once a month, sometimes more. It was during a relatively bad period in my life, a time when I was feeling alone, remorseful, and guilt-ridden. I've always believed that the "bile dream" was my soul trying to cleanse itself. It's been at least three years now since I've experienced this dream. A good sign?
I don't drive. Have never had my license. Yet in most dreams involving a vehicle, I'm the driver. Occasionally I've "borrowed" a friend's car and gone driving. That's the dream. Me. Driving.
Real life sometimes creeps into my dreams, especially where money is concerned. I usually have the exact amount of money on me in a dream as I do in reality.
I finish dreams, sometimes after I wake up. I've also started dreaming in serial. Episodic dreams have occasionally reran in my head, with some of the same characters. I doubt that this is unheard of, but it sure is awesome.
Since I became an avid reader of detective stories, I sometimes dream the book which I am currently reading. Or I write a new chapter in my sleep.
This is also awesome.
Every now and then, the first thought I have when waking up was the last thought I had before drifting off.
Friday, November 25, 2011
The Loneliness Of Single Socks
I have a collection of unmated socks. They occupy a comfortable corner of my dresser, nestled closely to my t-shirts. Most of my socks are black or grey, but I also own some patterned argyles. In my recent frantic move from my long time residence to my (perhaps) temporary lodgings, I had quickly gathered up all of my pairs of socks and stuffed them into various modes of transport-backpack, canvas carry bags, black garbage bags. Some of the pairs were clean and rolled up, ready to wear. Others were not. But I thought that I'd done a good job of finding mates. They all APPEARED to match.
Appearances are, of course, deceptive.
Laundry done. Socks sorted. Shit! I'm missing some! A quick recheck of both the washer and the dryer, because it's common knowledge that socks will hide. They are the shy children of the clothing world, afraid to come outside and play with the rest of your clothing, scared, perhaps, of being shoved into shoes. But a little coaxing, with promises of better future treatment ("I promise I won't leave you wadded up in the middle of the living room floor for the cat to bat around!") usually works.
But not this time.
This time the socks were gone. And I knew deep in my heart that they were never coming back.
Their abandoned mates miss them. I can tell by the forlorn way in which they lie limply in the drawer, in one big heap. They don't go anywhere anymore because I can't be seen in public with mismatched socks. I haven't told them this, but I know that they know. Socks are the most intelligent members of the clothing world. I do occasionally don them for sleeping, or when I've run out of clean socks to wear around the house. But they do not get along with each other; they miss their mates. I get that. After all, they had grown up together, from the sock factory (or wherever socks are made) to the store shelves to my feet. Presumably, they believed that they would be together forever, either as vital members of my wardrobe or as laundry fugitives, hiding out in dark corners of the house.
What can I do? I have plenty of matched pairs, but I'm forced to keep them apart from the orphans, as I want to spare feelings as much as possible. I wish that everybody would just get along, or that the runaways will someday return. But I'm a realist. I know that, soon, the single socks will outlive their usefulness. I'll buy more pairs. Or go barefoot at home. Whatever my course of action, I know that feelings will be further hurt.
And I know that it will be my fault. After all, if I hadn't washed them, they would still be together. Dirty. Smelly. Relegated to the bottom of the laundry basket.
But happy.
Appearances are, of course, deceptive.
Laundry done. Socks sorted. Shit! I'm missing some! A quick recheck of both the washer and the dryer, because it's common knowledge that socks will hide. They are the shy children of the clothing world, afraid to come outside and play with the rest of your clothing, scared, perhaps, of being shoved into shoes. But a little coaxing, with promises of better future treatment ("I promise I won't leave you wadded up in the middle of the living room floor for the cat to bat around!") usually works.
But not this time.
This time the socks were gone. And I knew deep in my heart that they were never coming back.
Their abandoned mates miss them. I can tell by the forlorn way in which they lie limply in the drawer, in one big heap. They don't go anywhere anymore because I can't be seen in public with mismatched socks. I haven't told them this, but I know that they know. Socks are the most intelligent members of the clothing world. I do occasionally don them for sleeping, or when I've run out of clean socks to wear around the house. But they do not get along with each other; they miss their mates. I get that. After all, they had grown up together, from the sock factory (or wherever socks are made) to the store shelves to my feet. Presumably, they believed that they would be together forever, either as vital members of my wardrobe or as laundry fugitives, hiding out in dark corners of the house.
What can I do? I have plenty of matched pairs, but I'm forced to keep them apart from the orphans, as I want to spare feelings as much as possible. I wish that everybody would just get along, or that the runaways will someday return. But I'm a realist. I know that, soon, the single socks will outlive their usefulness. I'll buy more pairs. Or go barefoot at home. Whatever my course of action, I know that feelings will be further hurt.
And I know that it will be my fault. After all, if I hadn't washed them, they would still be together. Dirty. Smelly. Relegated to the bottom of the laundry basket.
But happy.
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